yehudisha:

homojabi:

Straight girls love to pretend like they can be intimate with other girls without things being weird as if their behavior doesn’t literally rely on the assumption that the other girls they’re being intimate with are straight too. As if as soon as they find out a girl is attracted to other girls they don’t completely change their behavior and refuse to be anywhere near them. As if their refusal to invite sapphic girls to sleepovers or to get dressed in the locker room near them isn’t an even bigger “no homo” than actually saying it would be.

once straight girls learn of ur sexuality, platonic physical affection that was status quo from both parties before (arm linking, hair braiding, hugging or sleeping in the same bed on a sleepover) becomes taboo to them. they think it’s ok for them to sexualize every one of their lesbian/bi friends’ actions without consent. in my experience, physically affectionate friendship is fine and normal between me and my straight friends - until they find out I like girls. then every time I come anywhere near them I get sexualized jokes like “omg I didn’t know you were into me that way”, “do you secretly want to have sex with me, Avi?”, or critical attacks like “can you stop acting like I’m gonna go lesbian for you? it’s creepy” - all this over friendly gestures that were no big deal before my sexuality was made public. it’s made me feel disgusting from a young age to go near any girl even with no romantic context.

some straight ppl who wanna act like they’re good and not homophobic in this regard will say that touching between gay/bi women and their straight friends is alright, but only “as long as you’re 200% sure you’re not attracted to them” even though that logic is also super harsh?? tons of straight girls have friendships with their unrequited guy crushes and are still close enough to hug or jokingly touch or be affectionate and they aren’t deemed predatory for it. I remember having a crush on a straight friend in middle school and I knew it was unrequited so I never tried to act on it, I just continued to interact with her in normal friendship ways (which for us included things like linking arms and hair braiding, but since I knew she didn’t know about or return my feelings I never sexualized it in my head at all), and when I confided in my other (also straight) friend about my feelings for this person she yelled at me and said that if I knew she was straight I should never touch her again because that’s creepy and invasive. the next time the girl I liked asked me to braid her hair or wanted to link arms with me I teared up and pushed her away. 

there’s just no forgiveness for young lesbians and bi women for normal things. having platonic female friends apparently unacceptable because that’s “not possible”, but when we do end up with unrequited feelings for a close friend, which is completely normal, it’s framed as though we did it on purpose and were intentionally sexualizing that friend, and we’re then expected to atone for that attraction by making ourselves completely physically inaccessible and separate from that friend so there’s no question that we aren’t “being creepy”. put up a wall and be paranoid to ever touch them again in any way. unrequited crush on a straight friend = you’re never supposed to come in any physical contact with that straight friend again or else you’re a predator and sexualizing her and you’re gonna be talked about that way behind your back or to your face. and to add insult to injury straight women speak on this as though friendships between young lesbian/bi girls and straight ones primarily harm the straight girls involved, when in reality it’s the mental health of the lesbian/bi girls involved that is ultimately damaged.

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    This is a common perspective but luckily my experiences with this have disagreed so far. I came out to most of my...

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